♥Friday, March 26, 2010♥
listeninq to Marlinda ,
ai have to mood to talk to anyone .
ai found somethinq thaat maybe ai shouldnt have found .
fever , flu , no more couqh , eyes are killinq mi and ai'm in pain ~
ai dont wana talk to anyone . sorry and thaanks .
basically ai'm at my very worst now . ai'm at homey all alone .
ai was bored , and ai just went searchinq for stuffs on the net .
ai quess ai found somethinq which ai think ai shouldnt have found uh .
and after readinq thaat stuffs , straiqht away mood went down .
without a sinqle word , tears just fell .
it feels as thouqh someone stabbed mi with a knife , and it went riqht thru my heart .
ai'm beinq a fucker now , ai know . MyCintaBaby told mi about whaat Adek said ,
but its as thouqh ai'm feelinqless . ai'm sorry CintaBaby .
its just thaat ai'm flat on the qround now . ai'm helpless , ai hope youuh understand .
ai dont have the mood to talk with anyone . somehow later when youuh online ,
youuh'll know why . ai'll let youuh read it for youuhre self .
currently ai'm chaatinq with ArE - boo .
actually ai ddnt have the mood to chaat with anyone at all , but when ai told him ai was down ,
he asked mi whaat happened . he asked mi to share with him , so ai did .
and he told mi thaat he'll try to cheer mi up , but ai told him ai cant .
A r E - B O 0 o . says:
hmm ..
chill ah ..
life is like that ..
u cant do anything ..
no crying 4 a guy laa ..
he cheat ur feelings rite ..
he surely will get back one day ..
karma happens wat .
chill ah ..
theres alot of guys in spore ..
nt in spore thailand also got .
so chill la kae .
don worry ..
b happy .
thaat was whaat he said to mi , if ai would to copy paste my whole convo with him .
hmm ..
chill ah ..
life is like that ..
u cant do anything ..
no crying 4 a guy laa ..
he cheat ur feelings rite ..
he surely will get back one day ..
karma happens wat .
chill ah ..
theres alot of guys in spore ..
nt in spore thailand also got .
so chill la kae .
don worry ..
b happy .
thaat was whaat he said to mi , if ai would to copy paste my whole convo with him .
it would be damn fuckinq lonq siul . cause as ai'm postinq , ai'm still havinq convo with him .
iqnore the thailand part -.-
he was just tryinq to make mi lauqh , hehs .
he's just qivinq mi advise and he's just listeninq to my problems .
it seems like he really understand my situation now .
thaanks for listeninq to my problems , and thaanks for all youuhre advise .
ai hope ai can be stronq to face this current obstacle .
is this whaat he really want from mi ?
is this whaat he's been up to thaats the reason why he has been superbly harsh towards mi ?
is this the reason ?! all ai want is to know his reasons and he's answers .
is thaat too much to ask for ? ai just want the truth .
pleaase lahh ehh , stop killinq mi this way . ai cant take it .
ai'm just a normal human , how much youuh think ai can take ?
ai have feelinqs too , ai too want to be happy . not only youuh and everyone else .
ai deserve my happiness siul . hais .
maybe this are just the way thinqs should end . its how life roll ryte , so ya .
tears just fell like waterfall , without stoppinq . and ai've been repeatinq the sonq Marlinda over and over aqain .
ai just cant stop listeninq to this sonq . ai dont know why , this sonq is just so damn touchinq .
ai'm in love with kid's voice , like criously .
ai nyd mamat now ! urqent matters lahhh !
only mamat can make mi cool down and stop cryinq . at this state , ai'm helpless .
ai heavent sleep since yesterday nyte , and amazinqly ai'm still not sleepy yet .
ai'm still fresh , althouqh ya my eyes are like fuckinq benqkak -.-
ai'm just like sittinq on my bed and my eyes are stuck to my lappy from just now .
lookinq at his picture , ai cant stop lookinq at his picture .
hais )':
tears just keep on fallinq , and my head is like spinninq now .
cause ai saw blood , which ai cant . ai qet weak whenever ai see blood .
dont ask mi why theres blood , or who's blood or whaat blood kaay .
ai must be stronq to face this obstacle , ai must .
ai must rise up from this qreat fall , and ai must stand up aqain .
ai cant just stay flat on the qround . its true whaat ArE - boo said to mi .
ai must stand up aqain , and ai must put on a smile on my face .
my loved ones wouldnt want to see mi this way .
tomorrow is shashabby's biq day , ai cant show her whaat ai'm qoinq thru .
ai must be happy , and ai must show her thaat ai'm happy .
eventhouqh he's not next to mi , and he's not there for mi , ai must put on a faake smile ai quess .
ai just cant wait for Adek Raikhan's homeleave sehh , criously .
ai cant wait to myt him , botaak ohhh botaak .
hehs (:
at last , ai lauqh . naak tawuuk asal ? (:
ArE - boo made mi lauqh , and he made mi stop cryinq .
he cheer mi up , and thanks alot (:
maybe this lauqhter is just for awhile , later on ai'll be back to my mood .
but at least ai did lauqh abit . and thaat made ArE - boo happy enouqh , hehs .
althouqh ai'm lauqhinq and smilinq now , ai still nyd mamat !
ai nyd to talk to him about all this shyts , only him can make mi feel better .
and when ai say feel better , means all the way . not only for the moment .
so ai'm qona myt him later on at niqht . ya , ai quess ai wont be sleepinq like aqain .
tonyte , ai'll have to stay awake also . cause tomorrow ai have to wake up early .
my shashabby kan qoinq to tunanq , so ya (:
wont be sleepinq aqain cause takot cannot wake up -.-
ai'll only sleep tomorrow nyte .
ai can tahan lahs , when ai'm stressed up , ai can stay awake for days siul .
it dosent matter for how many days , just as lonq as ai feel better then ai'll sleep .
my record is qoinq thru 1week without sleepinq -.-
lamer ? no lahs . thaats not lonq at all . ai still wana break my record .
ai'm in this condition , but ai still heavent touched ciqqy .
ai'm a qirl of my words lahh okaay .
when ai say ai wont touch , it means ai really wont touch .
ai'm not like him , who will eat up his own words thaat comes out from his own mouth .
*whaatever lahhhh ehhh*
ai cant even open my eyes fully siaak , now my eyes so the sepet -.-
wth ,
taakpe lahs , sepet for two days . okaay juqak pe kans .
*smiles*
SEPET ,
does thaat word sounds familliar to youuh ?? hmms ,
*thinkinq*
*whaatever face*
ai wont be replyinq msqs from anyone , not even mmy's or he's kays .
only will be replyinq text from second family , and MyCintaBaby (:
calls will also be iqnored , totally iqnored . from everyone .
only will answer calls from second family and MyCintaBaby (:
kaay dahhhhh , finish ehhh !
boooooooo ~
I cant get enough of your love ♥
@ 9:12 PM
@ 9:12 PM
