♥Monday, March 29, 2010♥
listeninq to Marlinda sanq by Marslinq Boys .
still sick and ai've still not touched ciqqy .
ai dont know whaats wronq with mi ,
ohh qod , ai still cant sleep . 3days without sleepinq ,
currently just slackinq at my homey with MyCintaBaby (:
all a sudden ai just feel like postinq .
ai'm down ai quess . ai dont know whaats wronq with mi .
hais ,
ohh qod , help mi thru this please . ai cant do this alone .
ya , ai lied . ai thouqht ai was stronq enouqh to qo thru this days without him .
but ai think ai was damn wronq , cause ai'm not stronq enouqh .
at thaat nyte itsellf , ai ddnt even felt sad . ai ddnt cry .
ai acted as thouqh nothinq actually happened , but after ai finished postinq just now morninq .
ai was on my bed , listeninq to sonqs and all a sudden he came thru my mynd .
it was like all a sudden , ai dont know why .
and yeaah , ai still cant sleep . its been 3days already thaat ai cant sleep .
qod , whaats wronq with mi ? whaats happeninq to mi . hais .
its just amazinq how ai can qo thru 3days without sleepinq .
theres alot of witness thaat knows and was with mi for this whole 3days .
ai'm not lyinq , ai really ddnt sleep for 3days straiqht .
ai'm tired , but ai cant put myself to sleep . ai tried to close my eyes ,
but ai'll like terlelap for awhile then ai'll wake up aqain , and ai cant close my eyes anymore .
and since just now morninq , ai've been thinkinq about him till now .
ai cant qet him off my mynd siul , tolonq akuu someone ?
CintaBaby came over my homey around 10amplus , she ddnt qo school .
she was already late and ya . skipped school aqain -.-
Cinta ! aper nyh !? ishk !
met CintaBaby at R.plaza , mac . went up to buy food , for mi and CintaBaby .
CintaBaby finished her food , but ai ddnt . ai only eat abit .
no mood to eat lah , asal saak nqaan akuu . ishk !
reached my homey , went inside my room and eat with CintaBaby .
after eatinq , she isap rokok and ai just watched her uhs -.-
*lauqhs*
then was chaatinq with ex , danny .
ai'm sorry danny , but ai cant forqet about him and ai'll love only him .
ai cant move on with anyone else . eventhouqh yes , youuhre my ex .
but ai really cant , ai'm sorry danny . youuh should just qo on with youuhre life .
forqet about mi , ai'm not worth youuhre time .
no matter how sweet youuh may be , how much youuh may love mi , how much youuh want mi back .
ai'm sorry danny , ai cant . ai love only him . ai cant love anyone else .
ai hope youuh'll fyne the ryte qirl for youuh kay , ai'm not the ryte one for youuh .
ai'm sorry aqain , ai cant accept youuh back .
we can be friends , but not more . sorr ):
CintaBaby , thanks for beinq there for mi bhy .
now youuh qot youuhre free time , and youuh spend the day with mi .
ai'm qlad thaat youuhre here with mi bhy , ai dont know whaat ai would do if ai'm alone .
ailoveyouuh CintaBaby !
ai was wronq if ai thouqht ai can be stronq to face this obstacle .
cause ai'm not . now , ai cant stop thinkinq about him .
he's all ai can think of ryte now . and its just been one day since everythinq ended .
and ai'm already like this , like half dead .
ai'm not myself , ai'm superb clumsy , and ai seldom talk .
ai'm beinq weird . padehal ai was just fyne siaa , until today .
ai admit , ai'm missinq him now .
ai cant lie to myself thaat ai dont miss him .
tears just kept on fallinq , cause all ai could think of was him .
ai'm sorry people , if ai'm not myself kay .
ai cant pull myself toqether , am just tryinq my fuckinq best to stay stronq .
ai nyd mamat now , ai nyd to talk to him .
mamat sayaanq , somehow ai'm scared of losinq youuh .
sumpah !
people asked mi , whether ai have feelinqs for youuh isit .
ishk ! ofcos not lah okay !
mi and mamat are just really close , he's the one thaats always listeninq to my probs .
and scoldinq mi if ai would to do somethinq stupid .
he would be the one who makes mi stop cryinq ,
qosh , ai cant imaqine havinq to qo thru life without mamat siaa .
cam ane akuu naak hidop siul , ai cant !
mamat said this to mi the other day , when we're havinq our conversation .
mamat ; ita , cam ane ehh law akuu dahh ns ? *thinkinq*
ita ; kiwak , akuu taak bley hidop siaa akuu raser .
mamat ; law akuu dahh ns , kauu jaqe diri kauu baekbaek taw .
kauu taakmu uwaat kejekeje bodow aqy . kay ?
ita ; insyaallah uhs , akuu taak bley siaa law kauu taakde .
saper naak mara akuu aqy ? saper naak denqarkan akuu peh problem ?
saper naak bully akuu ? saper naak pakse akuu untok stop nanqes ?
saper naak maen quitar nqaan akuu sampai paqypaqy bute ?
saper naak ketok kepale akuu law akuu uwaat keje bodow ?
saper yanq naak advise akuu siul ?
mamat ; akuu taak bley tinqqalkan kornq smue siaa . satu hary berpisah je dahh susah .
cam ane law dah ns ? aper aqy kauu , cam ane akuu naak tinqqalkan kauu siul ?
nqaan kauu nqaa ader problem cam nyh . saper naak jaqe kauu ?
hais *shakes head*
ita ; mat ! akuu taak bley siaak . satu hary taak jumper kauu je akuu dahh cam ornq taak betol .
akuu taak bley qo thru nyh smue sornq mat . sumpah !
mamat ; akuu tawuu ita . kauu fikir akuu sanqqup pe naak tinqqalkan kauu biler akuu naak ns nanty .
taak siul , law paper jady pat kauu cam ane saak . hais , *shakes head*
the rest of the convo ai wont share . its personal .
so ya , thaats my convo with mamat the other day at his homey .
air mater dah bertakonq siaak when he said those words .
qosh , akuu taaknaak imaqine qoinq thru life without him to make mi stronqer !
akuu taaknaak ! akuu takot !
please ohh please , time move slower . please !
hais , ai've lost someone and now ai'm qoinq to lose mamat soon )':
taak bley siul , akuu bley maty ! sumpah !
youuh people must be thinkinq , alah . chill lah , baru ns .
bukan nyer dier naak qy out of sinqapore .
so durh , thaat shows how rapat we are .
thaat its even hard for us to pisah , althouqh its not for lonq .
and thaat ai still can myt him . tapy akuu taak bley pisah dary dier lamerlamer .
*sobs*
its raininq like superbly heavy now , and ai taak jady qo lepak with adq tercinta and danny .
danny tibetibe uwaat praqai after whaat ai told danny .
but its the truth whaat , taakkan youuh expect mi to lie to youuh kan ?
hais , kay dah . ita nak barenq , penat dehh :D
Labels: why is this happeninq
I cant get enough of your love ♥
@ 4:08 PM
@ 4:08 PM
